Devastating words cross her lips,
that rip my heart out at every utterance.
She is overwhelmed, oppressed,
lost in her depressive trance
for close to a month now. How can we cope
when she can give up hope so easily?
I do what I can. I tend to her needs.
I pick up her prescriptions. I give her
the love she most certainly deserves.
It unnerves me; I try to keep her on point
from this disjointed reality.
Her medications help, but they deprive me
of her quality. When on, she has that in spades!
But, that is a trade we’ll make
at every turn. I yearn for her to return
without the burn of hearing, “I want to die.”
I’ll hold her (I told her I always will)
and still she can have her doubts. We’re in this together.
I die a little every time she says I want to die!
© Walter J. Wojtanik – 2016
*** Yes, we’re talking to professionals and are in a good place. It is not a constant lament. It’s just that on really bad days, those are the words she says. Writing it helps.