We think we’re in control,
and we’d sell our soul to do
the right things required.
We had desired a happily ever
after all this time, and now I’m
lamenting our sad predicament.

That was exactly what I meant
when the “I Do’s” took control.
But my mind tended to wander and I’m
sure I had squandered the time to do
what I should have. If I could ever
get a mulligan; I’ll know what was required!

If this were a job, I’d have probably been fired,
or worse yet, you’d have sent
me in exile to the Dubuque office to never
be heard from again. I had lost control
and now, consoling you is all I can do
while we cherish this time. I am

sorry. I truly am.
I’ve come to know all that I desired
in this span of life that I’ve shared with you.
I should have taken better care of you, spent
more time attending to your needs and extol
how much I too have needed you. I can never

get those moments back, yet I could never
be more than what I am.
I’m just a man, whose life had spun out of control
but is willing to do all that is required
to be that stand up gent
who was lucky enough to have married you!

So, now I vow to be the sidekick you need, who will do
the little things that mean so much to you now and never
again be the cad who had distanced himself from you. I repent,
and with this sad lament I’m
hoping you come to know that I am so inspired
by your strength, your courage, your love, your heart and soul.

Know now that it is in His hands; He has always been in control to do
all that is required. And in this brief forever we’ve shared
I should have cared for you better. This is the predicament I’m in.

© Walter J. Wojtanik – 2016

Poetic Asides November Chapbook Challenge Day 3 – “If I Only…”


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