We know it’s killing you.
The mind is willing but you
aren’t getting the message.
Or you’re getting the message
but your legs can’t comprehend
as your brain frantically sends
you signals to move. But you’ve
lost some agility and the ability
to find your groove. Your frustration
has you shaken that it’s taking you
so long to do what used to come
without thinking. It seems you’re sinking
into a state of despair. You wouldn’t care,
but for someone who used to be
a mover and shaker, you just seem
to shake more than you did. You’ve hidden
it well, but we can now tell
you’ve been having problems. Your gait
is now a shuffle and you muffle a curse
under your breath. Life has you reeling
when you’re dealing with Parkinson’s!

(C) Walter J. Wojtanik – 2016

dVerse Poets Pub – MTB: The Reason For Rhyme


30 thoughts on “BRADYKINESIA

  1. The rhyme changes, line by line, sometimes interlaced, sometimes internal. Perhaps you might say that the rhyme scheme is “shaky” – which is perfect for the theme of your poem.

  2. Glenn Buttkus

    Oh yes, master rhymer, this is primo illustration of your MTB prompt. I did some variance of scheme. but the internal ones did not materialize. You do make it look less stifling & claustrophobic; good on you.

  3. elsa

    This is an excellent poem, especially as the sound goes. But it makes me sad because it’s so playful, being that my best friend’s mother has had the hardest time battling this disease. It breaks my heart. 😦 You’re so spot on with all the symptoms. It’s really so very sad.

    You have a typo here: “you’ve having problems”

    I do think maybe people who suffer, who can’t use their bodies in the same ways they once could, gain some wisdom and insight beyond what the rest of us are capable of at this point. Maybe we have to fall apart before we can really begin to “know” anything.

  4. Laura Bloomsbury

    a moving picture in both rhythm and rhyme Walt – masterfully executed and full of understanding too:
    “someone who used to be
    a mover and shaker, you just seem
    to shake more than you did”

  5. Such a good expose of the tragic reality of Parkinson’s–something I worked with throughout my nursing career. It’s like being a prisoner in your own body. I like the free-flowing pattern of your rhyme–this was one of my favorite prompts ever and I printed it and stuck it in the notebook I use to do poetry first drafts. I suspect that rhyming will become a more conscious tool for me in all my poetry, no matter the form.

  6. rhyme
    whose got the time
    it will take ages and ages
    even for
    poets and sages
    twas a good lesson though
    better than learning how to sew
    so thank you for that
    i doff my akubra hat
    this poem is becoming a little flat
    if i had to rhyme all the time
    i think you would find me
    hanging from the clothes line

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