I CANNOT FIND MY HEART

“I am cold, even though the heat of early summer is adequate. I am cold because I cannot find my heart.” ~Sebastian Barry from his novel A Long, Long Way

I am cold.
No chill shakes me
or makes me shiver. Once a lover,
a target of Cupid’s quiver.
I cannot find my heart.
I cannot start to say when
or where I had lost its fire,
lost my desire.
Was it the passing of time
that had absconded with it?
Or was it your passing
and this inconsolable pain?
Had I given it away
too much without recompense,
dispensing any claim on unconditional love?
As you look down from above, I wish
that you could give me a shove. I know
my angel watches over me. I see.
It is clear to me that I am cold.
I cannot find my heart.

© Walter J. Wojtanik – 2016

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11 thoughts on “I CANNOT FIND MY HEART

  1. Glenn Buttkus

    Time is the great healer for most of us. Death leaves permafrost on parts of our heart with the loss of every loved one, & yet, somehow, we are resilient. At my age, my losses to death are nearly legion, & my metabolism, both emotional & physical, is at a low ebb; so I wear a sweater even on a warm day. Hugs to you, & kudos for hosting & your heartfelt poetics.

  2. “No chill shakes me
    or makes me shiver. Once a lover,
    a target” … This is my favorite.

    “Or was it your passing
    and this inconsolable pain?”

    So sad. 😦

  3. Rosemary Nissen-Wade

    A journey that cannot be avoided – but I believe you will find it again. Love the internal rhymes and the strength of this poem. I think your writing just gets better and better.

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