THAT’S HOW IT IS (The Un-Coolio Version)

How are you doing, my friend?
Not bad really, how have you been, chum?
You know how it is, I’m just doing what comes natural.
(yes indeed)
What have you been working on lately?
Just working hard. What are you doing?
I’m taking some classes, brother.
I’m tryin’ to get out from this bad situation, man.
Good luck with that then.
I’m trying to find an employment situation
[Loud banging noises]
Oh gosh, it seems to be going downhill!
I’d like to find work as well, seriously man!
These things are not sitting well with me.
Fella, I’m not handling this well,
I’m not kidding in the least!
You know what my feelings are
with the automotive shooting sprees,
fellows taking my things and stuff,
drug addicts… I can’t tolerate it!
Things are tough all over, not just here
That’s true, but I can’t take much more of this!
I agree with you. But can I tell you a thing or two?
What is it, my friend?
As much as I hate this place, I love this place.
I know, right?
That’s how this ghetto is, man!
I totally agree!

(C) Walter J. Wojtanik – 2016

Poetic Asides April Poem-A-Day Challenge – Day #19: “Cool/uncool poem”

*This is an English translation of Coolio’s song “That’s How It Is” – the Un-Coolio lyrics


One Christmas our parents bought us a pool table. A family gift they said, but our sisters never got in the queue for the cue. But the neighbor kids did. We became the place to be, the hang out. We were “THE cool family.” A quarter a game and the friends came with their paper route money or their lawn mowing cash to play. Some had an allowance (but only briefly). Our plan was to use the cash for improvements on the table and supplies. Better cue sticks, billiard balls (which chipped regularly from flying over the edge to the concrete floor below) and we would split the remaining money (according to our older brother’s suspect math and sense of fairness!)

Standard 8-Ball was the fare until the knucklehead down the street discovered 9-Ball. The games went quicker, he said. We could play for…something, he said. He was slicker at it than the rest of us and he’d get the best of us every time. The lot of us grew tired of his hustle and suddenly Billiards didn’t fit into our day. We hardly ever played any more, but before that, there was a brief moment when we was cool.

We were entertained
by the games that we would play.
I would say that’s cool!

© Walter J. Wojtanik – 2016

Poetic Asides April Poem-A-Day Challenge – Day #19: “Cool/Uncool poems”


Fill your head with words.

Big words.

Little words.

Swear words.
“Five-dollar” words.
They can rhyme.
Or not.
You’ve got to have words.
They don’t even have to be real words
or in English (or the vernacular)!
You don’t need to be so damn particular!
If it looks like a word,
and sounds like a word,
then it’s a duck!
(If the word is duck!)
Give it your own twist.
Shake your fist, get a clue.
Get the gist
of what it is you want to say.
and say that shit, anyway.
(See? You can throw in a swear word
for the shock value, if you must)
Just use you words!

(C) Walter J. Wojtanik – 2016

NaPoWriMo 2016 – Day #19: “Didactic Poem”