FLIGHTLESS BIRD

Eldon Bridgewater was a broken man,
wings clipped and his horn bent; eyes
as blind as the moment he could no longer
see the light in his soulful noise. The boys in the band
would stand in ovation each night, homage
to the blackbird within longing to be free
of this tired and darkened life. As long as he could
arise to the levels of Parker and Coltrane,
he knew he was not dead. Dread the man
who would silence his muse!

(C) Copyright Walter J Wojtanik – 2014

THE SUNDAY WHIRL – WORDLE #159

 

159

ALTERNATE ENDING:

In the dead of night you sing,
wings spread but broken and your flight is dead.
A blackbird lost; tossed
into a life with sunken eyes, it’s no surprise
you’ve never learned to see your way free
of the darkness and into the light.
You are hinged on the moment
when your broken appendages lift you. Arise,
your waiting is over.
 

(C) Copyright Walter J Wojtanik – 2014

THE SUNDAY WHIRL – WORDLE #159

 

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15 thoughts on “FLIGHTLESS BIRD

  1. I like these, Walt. Favorite lines are ‘eyes as blind as the moment he could no longer see the light in his soulful noise,” and “arise, your waiting is over.” Well wordled.

  2. Both takes are excellent. I really like the first… the beautiful, plaintive jazz of the blind musician comes through… I hear the horn. I hear the art. Longing to fly… nicely penned.

  3. Very much enjoyed the rhythym and crispness of the first – Enjoyed and felt the aching in the second… Perhaps change the last line of the first … Hmmm I don’t think you were seeking a critique – There is a soulful jazzy poem here playing in both incarnations –

  4. I think the last line of the first is great, Walt. The switch to 2nd person is quite powerful… I really like them both, but it’s like comparing apples to oranges.

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