Dusk fell across the valley like a funeral shroud;
obliterating the light of day and hiding its wretched decay.
The hollow below held no trace of vegetation;
the furrowed land sat fallow and empty,
not even possessing the essential nutrients
to imply that the soil was once fertile.
The chain link fence held it in containment
as it rose above the barren void.
It gave the appearance that the Grand Master
had taken His pencil eraser and wiped
all that was beautiful and promising
off of His canvas. But it was a recipe
that had provided many great things.
One could be forgiven that the valley
lay disinterested in its plight.
The right Operator would return her
to its former productivity. Patience will grow.
For THE SUNDAY WHIRL – WORDLE # 71

Stunning from start to finish!
Janet!!! Welcome back!! I agree with you on this one!
Thanks as always, Henrietta.
🙂 you’re welcome, friend.
Hey, glad to see you resurface on my blog. Your encouragement is always heart warming and most welcomed. It was a different P.O.V. than I’m used to writing. Thanks Janet.
Excellent use of metaphor, Walt. Wonderful from start to finish.
No-one ever called you “crazy”, 😉
Pamela
btw: Your linky is sending us to last week’s poem, thought you might want to know.
Thanks Pamela, at least not to my face(book). I appreciate your support.
I remember a few crazies being thrown around! LOL It’s a good thing in my world. This is another lovely piece, Walt. I’m growing fond of your work.
Thanks Brenda. Glad to have caught your eye with my work, I’m only crazy when I have to be. Like in a gathering cats or middle-schoolers… 😉
Very fine writing, Walt. I don’t know if I am interpretting correctly, but I think this shows the cycle of life.
I like the tone of this Walt … it vacillates between heart-rendingly sad and very optimistic; as you say, a different P.O.V. for you – and a nice change of pace … well done.
http://seingrahamsays.wordpress.com/2012/08/26/shifting-colours/
Thanks Shar. I find my stuff gravitating towards these kind of pieces of late. Your support in invaluable. I’ll be by to catch up with your piece later.
Mary, that’s a very astute observation. I threw “essentials” into the mix and it lead me in that direction…I don’t know why. Thanks for the encouragement.
Powerful statement on the misuse of nature, whether it be a bomb or bad agricultural practices, or perhaps nature, fire from a lightening strike. I love, eraser of the Grand Master, an excellent visual. Love, “Patience will grow.”
Thanks for your kind words, Willow. Stopping to smell the roses is more than a saying.
Love this, Walt… especially:
It gave the appearance that the Grand Master
had taken His pencil eraser and wiped
all that was beautiful and promising
off of His canvas
… and the ending of hope.
Chuck Mangione’s “Children of Sanchez” has a great lyric which are my words by which to live:
“Without dreams of hope and pride, a man will die. While his chest still moves, his heart beats in the grave…”
There is always a hope for a better ending. Thanks for the visit, Laurie.
no matter how barren, the land does have a way of coming back. Given a bit of care it does so even quicker
The true renewable, Mark. If it grew there in the first place, it will grow again. Thanks.
Oh, yes. Patience. We need so much of it! Lovely work.
Everyone is in a hurry to get nowhere. The coffee actually smells better if you take the time to smell it! Appreciate your encouragement.
It’s interesting the way night can veil, yet romanticise, the most mundane of landscapes. Your Operator could be a metaphor for sunrise. For once, I see metaphor everywhere in this poem, and I’ve read it three times now.
Is ‘off of’ an American expression meaning from?
Yes Viv, ‘off of’ has a “slangness” to it. From may have been a better choice. Keep reading it, it will change again, I’m sure! Always good to get your feedback.
I really enjoyed that first line…That was the hook and bait. Reminds me of places that were once landfills or what was left of fire…and life was brought back. Also of deserts that were once oceans.
I’m here:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/08/sw-71-how-to-serve-man-11-b-10.html
And sometimes love fallen barren, only to find resurgence. Thanks for the look, Jules. I’m a bit behind this week, but will be by to check all you wonderful works.
“One could be forgiven [for thinking] that the valley…”
Why do I so want to add those words in brackets?
My Half-Whirl
Because that’s just your way! 😉 My way is making you think. A definite Win-Win!
Beautiful poem, filled with promise of good things to come.
Thank you Sara. You’re another who’s words from which I take much encouragement and solace.
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Hey, this feels comfortable and familiar Walt. I’m usually the one writing the dark ones! 🙂 nicely done.
And I love your “Dark side” Veronica. That’s a writer’s chore isn’t it? To make the reader feel that comfort and familiarity? Thanks for stopping.
I’m finally getting around to reading from last week…I’m on day 57 of daily posts for a “100 day” challenge, which cuts into reading. But I’m glad I found this one. With each time through the meanings and metaphors deepen, which makes it difficult to pick a favorite line. But I’ll say I like that you said “It gave the appearance that the Grand Master…” — on second glance, it’s not always what it seems. Which means (to me) to not lose hope. Thanks for a great poem you’ve shared with us.
Thanks for you kind words and analysis, Paula. 57 of 100? Quite an undertaking. I’ve reeled it in lately. too many irons in the fire. You’re right, not always what it seems. I had expressed words about “hope” to Laurie up above. The song speaks to me.Always dream, always hope; it keeps us alive.
Ah, I’d missed Laurie’s comment and your reply. I normally love reading through comments to see what others might have seen…but in keeping with the pace of posting, that’s an area I have scaled back. Reading the plethora of comments on the poems I’ve read. That’s a great line from that song…says a lot. Blessings on you and your hopes and dreams. ~Paula
What a powerful visual, Walt. Just beautiful.